1. |
The Curse
03:18
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But all good things have to come to an end
And you’re not a good thing, so you’ll come to no end.
The seeds you plant so long ago
Get covered by the ash that we call snow
Throw no flowers here, because
If heaven is a stop, then I’m a bus
Everything you do has a secret price
in the great advertisement that we call life.
Can I walk with you? My friends are gone
They diverged from this path we’re on
I’m happy to see that there’s still some left
Submerged in the pond we call “bereft”
If you get farther than me
I will fall for your ruined knees
Cause whatever self-respect I had
Got drowned in the puddle that we call “sad”
If I walk that way then my heart will stop
Cause the ground that way is a homemade prop
The only cure for my lightless eyes
Is to touch a flower and watch it die
There’s bad successes and good regrets
And the biggest failure is to just forget
The softest lights on this dark earth
Are you and me and our respective births
You are neither many of many nor one of few
You are the choices you acquiesced to
You are the thunder on forgotten hills
You are a large amount of pills
You are a great quantity of seaweed
You are death, life, rebirth, and the banshee.
Knee-deep muck on coastlines in your nightmares
Is dragging you ever closer to a mystery called “right there.”
You accept facts like banana stickers
You reject lonely, generally kind house sitters
And room shakers don’t tickle your fancy
The pounding speakers are making you antsy.
You sleep and wake, over and over constantly
listening to “seems so long ago nancy”
was it so long ago or was it just last wednesday
was it just last wednesday when you fell into that trap, see,
i know how to know when I’m dreaming, but if chance be
against me, i’ll slip into a bird’s eye view land sweep
of the huge valley of life from the cave of the centipede
to the red mould that asks “do you wanna dance please”
you deny thoughts and feelings simultaneously
i’m praying that your list of names nowhere mentions me
i am staring at the wall, i am whistling absently
i am whispering: “seems so long ago nancy”
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2. |
Self Reflection
05:58
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Self-reflection; your favourite hobby
It wasn't just Jesus who was sick of your body
It was the bees in the branches, the falling-down mansions
And every single member of your great expansion
In your mouth and in your nose
The smell of her neck and the sight of her clothes
Scattered round with yours, on the floor and the painted chair
The black and the white and the blue blue blue blue
Healing you with a healing touch
And the feeling of her teeth doesn't hurt too much
You're a carved up carcass to her scavenger bird
You're an open ear to her precious words
And if you wake in the morning with a shower on your back
And a hole in your head that you mistake for slack
That you're giving yourself, that you think you need better
Look closer at her, like the day you met her
So you won't need to be hanging around
After class, don't need to stay downtown
She is here and she's holding you
The sweetest terror enfolding you
I-I-I-I-I-I-
I'm looking at your face through several screens
And I feel that, and i know what you mean
When you said you were extreme in other ways
But i close my mouth, and we roll into day
Off the tall platform of my tall black bed
With the side of your face on the top of my head, and,
The weight of arbitrary pain unfolded,
Lies are free, and lies are golden, and
Everyone is happy for us
But not so happy as to cause a fuss
And not so happy as to say it's so
But happy enough to see us go
And i think i could love a face like yours
If you can love boredom and battered shores
That too many waves have broken on
And another’s looming, let's go, come on
You should try to get better sleeps
As the wooden woman forever weeps
She is here and she's holding you
The sweetest terror enfolding you
Should the beach become a pond
She'll just wave her magic wand
She'll be there, she'll be holding you
The sweetest terror enfolding you
If I get to see you again
Don't want to see another
I could simply listen to you
Like an older brother
Hearing you and caring that you
Do not get murdered
Screaming at the shadows, no-
No don't you-don't you- hurt her
Maybe if the sky ever breaks
And corpses get enlightened
Maybe I can lie here again
And not be-not be- frightened
As I hold my head in my hands
And moan my idiot moaning
You just put your hand on my back
And give me melatonin
I know that I said before
That I'd be happy just to
Ever have kissed your lips
But that was just a costume
I know that it might be alarming
I don't want to be an
Inconvenience or a dead weight
But these eyes are for seeing
How can I be looking at you
And hearing you talk
And think that I could walk away
That I could even walk
If I tried to get up and leave
My body wouldn't follow
Just a floating heart and a person
Clear and hollow
There I'd remain next to you
Skeleton in ecstasy
You in all your fullness persist
There lying next to me
Oh
Self-reflection,
Self-reflection,
Self-reflection, oh self-reflection,
It’s your favourite hobby,
Your favourite hobby
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3. |
Spiral Shell
02:29
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Smelling sweet as a flower
Losing minutes and hours
You wanna pin it to your forehead just to feel
powerful, in the powerful,
green growth rings of success and red growth rings of failure
Tie your hair like it’s a green, green reed
Even the marsh can bleed, and I know all I need is
You with all your creatures in tow
I don’t want you to go, I want you very very close
So it is
Demonstrably
That you’re Jesus nailed to me
Smelling sweet like chlorine
And you know what that means
Cause we don’t use love as a means of
Reaching peace, but then again at least,
the love we made was seen by the self-dividing east
Soap and water are our only friends
This could be where it ends, but it tends to not end
It seems to come whether you try or chill,
seems like it will come over and over again
So it is
And so you see,
That you’re Jesus nailed to me
And that’s exactly where I want to be
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4. |
Bog Myrtle
03:57
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Is it real or an enchantment?
All I can feel is disenchantment
Can I stay with you, can you unfasten
The cords that hold the thunderclouds crashing?
One off to the left and one off to the right
One right in the middle shining on you like night
They cover you like blankets and you fall asleep
It’s just another truth of the body
All this self-immolation is starting to define you
More than you'd probably like it to
Don't shave your hair, don't be scared,
There's a night stretched across the sky and you're out there
Huddled among the same piles of rubble that she died in
Drinking the same amount, with the same nice grin
You peek at the snow, through the diffuse orange glow,
At the waterfall to see if it still flows
And you see one off to the left, and one off to the right,
And their green glow turns wood-coloured as they cover your sight
They cover you in a blanket of moss
As you bury your dreams in loss
I’m fascinated by the sky, i’m okay with this town
everything’s more okay than it sounds,
everything except confusion and anguish
i am a candle, i’ve been extinguished
and as i lay and lay on mattresses here and there
i couldn't help but think that someday you might care
my love for you is a scratch on a cliff face
my love for you is the vastness of space
my love for you is like a parasite
it kills you
my love for you isn’t the rain at night
it’s the morning dew
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5. |
Bat
04:38
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At a recent social event I was forced
To flee as if from the scene of a crime
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt worse
Time, time, time
Because pain is time, and time is real,
And pain is not relative, nor do your feelings
Measure up on the scales of suffering
All your heart needs is a toughening
All your head needs is exclamation
All you need is the cure of sensation
All you need is a square of drywall
To stare at with your reddening eyeballs
Pain is love, and love is dusk,
And the change in the seasons is eating you
And you’re eating the impending widespread rust
As it’s defeating you
So time is love, and grass is nails,
That you will fall upon when you inevitably fail
Tales of your sacrifice will be sequestered
Into the mystery of forgotten information
Cause you are having an ok time
As the weight of the forest commits its crimes
On the soft shuddering tissue of your strange
Totality
In the gloom
In the gloom
Of your vacant room
There’s a mark
Made by
Lightning
When the lightning strikes, when the lightning strikes,
You will feel the way that you felt tonight
And you’ll change your so-called essence
Once again
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6. |
Past Lives
03:54
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I’m colder in the summer than i am in the winter
i want my headstone to be this old white printer
I want all my nights punctuated by mornings
every daybreak just gets pinker
every sunset just gets wiser
as you cough on gin instead of wiser’s
and there is no darkness, only warnings
the hollow lake needs no advertisers
i saw a life and didn’t call it shit
i just dug for a means to represent it
and in the hours spent digging the sun must have sunk
i guess the sun, too, quit.
I guess the sun, too, quit.
I grew like a bush and rotted like a fox
whether at tow hill or at the locks
i, like the water, remained so still
despite the electric shock
we had our heads down when the lightning struck
so it was only by our good luck
that we didn’t have to watch the beloved hill
burn, like memories of fucks
You slaked my thirst with Gatorade, and took me in, and got me laid,
You showed me your knife
I don’t act like I’m disgusted by the depth to which I trusted it
I guess I’m you in some past life
I guess I’m you in some past life
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7. |
150 Days
04:12
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One hundred and twenty years
Is not enough time to explain
Specifically, the precise way that
I love you and your salt stained
Boots and your salt stained
Cheeks, and the soft peep
Of the creature that lives with
Us and watches us sleep
I have a lot
Of catching up to do
I have a lot
Of things to say to you
One hundred and fifty days
Is not enough time to tell
Whether i'm going to see you
In heaven or see you in hell
I don't know whether i'm bad
Or you're bad or we're both
Bad, and I haven't had time to see
Whether my only sin is sloth
I have a lot
Of catching up to do
I have a lot
Of things to say to you
I have a lot
Of catching up to do
I have a lot
Of things to say to you
I love you
I love you
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8. |
Blood Clot Part 1
04:58
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Pregnant clouds in the sky raining little grey diamonds
Beating on our backs without rhyming or timing
Conditions being broken, truer words never spoken,
They broke in my hope when they stove in my hymen
They came from the back that had been wet by thick storms
Ice cold destruction that came in so warm
and so playful, they pilfered all of my garbage, power blackouts in their
trail, they don’t fail, they brainwash you through porn
In the night’s rotting darkness the harness is tightened
The red marks on your soft pink flesh are not frightened
They’re way more chill than your cruel, cruel brain
Shooting rain out your eyes, and inside your eyes, and down your
Cheeks
Does it hurt that much?
Do I really need to walk with a diamond crutch?
Is it acting or reacting when I cringe at the touch
Of nature’s little finger?
Does it matter if life is a sick sick joke
Or if my only real friends are water and soap?
I’m me, she’s her
Blankets of fur, forever soaked
I said so much but it was wrong
No less so in this pigeon that I call a song
No more so when my veins sang with me
All night long
But they didn’t even sing when it really would have counted
Flesh falling off, my bones still amounted
to more than I’d hoped, and my new way to cope
Is a ghost of “here we go”, around we
Go
We’re back again
Starting up at the moon at ten
You can cut my hand but the blood within
Doesn’t show, cause it doesn’t flow no more
Oh I asked him to hold me
Because I was cold, see
My hands they were shaking
My land was earthquaking
I did what he told me
I held him in
My arms doing
Nothing doing
No harm but he
Pushed me so far away
Leaving no time to say
“Please don’t, I love you so
I do not want to go
If you say so, okay
He held me in
his arms laughing
Cutting strips from
My flesh flashing
Lights from his giant eyes
Breeding like fireflies
Filling the night with green
Of all the things I’ve seen
Nothing was so serene
I lay back in
the grass, cold and
wet, looking up
at a soaring
Shadow that floated a-
-way up to heaven, it
paused for a moment,
Turned back and withered and
Fell down a thousand feet
Splashed and sank in
The water, I
Took one look and
Went inside and
You were there sleeping I
Curled up beside you and
Burned all my memories in-
side me, and tears sprang out
Greeting your frailness and
We fell deeper
Sleep our owner
Loving deeply
Forever soaked
You are my shadow and
You are my emptiness
You are my blood clot for
You are the blood that will
Never flow away again
Never flow away again
Never flow away again
Never flow away again
Never flow away again
Never flow away again
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9. |
Blood Clot Part 2
02:54
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four years later
turquoise water
trees like bones
the cruel north's daughter
sun falls softly
highway cries
open the door
close your eyes
you go one way
i'll go nowhere
you say one day
i'm gonna grow there
still remember
what it feels like
when the weeds are
really lifelike
crushed under some
superimposed maps
forget all that
with a firm slap
please restrain me
if i self-harm
please rain on me
like a thunderstorm
i'm not saying i have any kind of
supportive structure, no no no
i had no cell walls
when i fucked her noo
i had no cell walls
when i emptied
now i burn the
stuff she lent me
you sing sweetly
i'll just vomit
you go crazy
i'll just calm it
down
and i don't know why and i don't know how
and i don't know why and i don't know how the rain
Falls through the air
And rinses the pain
From whatever
happens to slip
between our forked tongues
and our light lips
you say this line
i'll say that one
you go smoke this
wasn't that fun?
yeah
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Pith Montreal, Québec
Chris Love
Andrea Finlay
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